Dear Tendential Tara,

I was hoping you could help me with my little dilemma. I'm a freshman in college, doing the typical freshman thing. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem since I maintain good grades and all, but one of my new experiences has been getting a tattoo. It's quite small (not much more than two square inches), easily covered, and tasteful (by tattoo standards at least). The problem would be my parents. I'm probably not going to be disowned or financially cut off or forced to go to a college close to home (though I'm sure I'll be threatened with all three), but I would like to cause as little drama as possible. I see my options as being either to tell my parents and get it over with (and maybe get some points for being honest and upfront), or I can attempt to hide the tattoo for the whole summer. My job would keep me out of the house and away from my parents for most of the day, so that will work in my favor, but I would have to be very careful about not exposing the tattoo (which I didn't think would be that hard until I tried to hide it from my visiting sister and was confounded when she found it quite quickly). My Magic Eightball keeps telling me to ask again later, so Tara, you are my last hope. Do I tell them about the tattoo or do I lie, cheat and/or steal to prevent them from seeing it?

Thanks,

Timorous Tattooee 

Dear Timorous, 

Ask again later. JUST KIDDING. 

Okay now, PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER. You said so yourself, it's small. Sure you unnecessarily soaked some ink into your skin, but life goes on. You will go through college, get the good grades you claim to get (are you a nerd or in denial? Kidding again-we're kindred nerds!) 

Oh yeah the 'rents. Well I've had 2 friends in a similar position involving piercings. Both attempted to hide their little belly button stowaways. One to this day has not been "caught", while the other was caught. Daddy got pissed, but yeah life goes on (did I say that already?). 

In any event, you're overreacting. Even if they do see it and get angry (the degree of their anger I can't gauge because I do not know them). I'm only speculating, but, methinks they will not disown you, especially if you're still bringing in the good grades there. The fact is, college is the beginning of an independent life; it's time to make your own decisions. If the parents freak, say this to them in a calm and calculated matter (milking those good grades, mind you!). If that doesn't work-guess what-they're pissed. There might be some tension, but remember-they WILL get over it. And also remember, you're in college so you're not around as often to put up with their ultraconservative propaganda. 

THE WORLD WILL NOT END IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO. Now, as for what I think you should do, I'm always partial to honesty. If you're up front about it, they will see that you don't think it's anything to be ashamed of and not react as strongly (hopefully). Sure, you're home only one third of the year now and could probably get away with hiding it forever, but why put yourself through the hassle? It's just a little, tasteful tattoo. . .and will not be an issue ten years from now, so don't let it be a huge one today. So yeah, honesty is the best policy. In regards to the tattoo I mean, not about you going to a bar with a fake ID and hooking up with three guys last Saturday.  GODSPEED FROSHIE~